Psychologists have a term—sublimation—for a process whereby certain negative urges are converted into positive behavior.
I’ve been feeling the need to sublimate.
You see, I’m feeling a lot of intense energy lately, much of it negative and a reaction to the daily news. I read what is going on in my country and the world and I get angry or scared, and frustrated.
For my own sake and for the sake of those around me, I need a way to release that stress.
I need a way to sublimate that energy.
Weeding is the answer. It has taken on new meaning for me this summer.
It’s always been an endless activity here, where the crabgrass and clover run free, amid pavers and garden beds.
I’ve always dreaded it a little, seen it as necessary evil, a fact of gardening life to just be dealt with.
Then I saw this strange little cartoon.
I really did try to find info about this for purposes of attribution. Nothing.
At first I found it disturbing and peculiar but now, every time I kneel down to weed, it inspires me.
When I weed now, I redirect my negative energy and think about the ripping off of heads and pulling out of spines.
I know this doesn’t sounds very “loving hands at home.” It may shock you.
But I’m not advocating actual, literal violence.
And I’m not fantasizing about large-scale head ripping. I’m not imagining pulling just any spines. Just a few specific spines.
It doesn’t work for everyone–some of the people who frustrate me a great deal are immune because they are, seemingly, spineless . . .
So I focus on the others. One in particular.
It’s oddly cathartic, this directing of negative energy to the task at hand. Where I once flinched at the sight of crabgrass, now I eagerly approach it—it has the best long roots.
If I work too quickly, the roots break and the weed comes back. Sublimation has made me a better, more careful weeder—I want that whole spine.
I finish a weeding session calmer than when I started. AND my patio looks better than it ever has.
So here is my advice to you:
Don’t hate—sublimate.
Love Those "Hands at Home" 
The first post I read today and you had me smiling in recognition. I so enjoy weeding dandelions and get giddy when I manage to pull the while long root. Enormously satisfying. On a side note, I think you could sell a few t-shirts or at least embroider a quilt square with “don’t hate – sublimate”.
I always seem to let dandelions go too long and they get established and see themselves as pets . . . We have enough crabgrass, though, to keep me stress-free for a very long time! I like the idea of a new embroidery project!
You have the perfect solution! I did some weed pulling today but without any enthusiasm. I will try it your way tomorrow. A thoughtful friend gave me a squishy rubber ball with a certain person’s face on it. I can squeeze it when I get vexed or throw it at a window where it sticks momentarily before it plops onto the floor. It’s a little cathartic but weeding with purpose will be more cathartic and useful as well. 😀
We have a cat toy with a certain person’s face on it–gives me some happy moments when the cats toss it in the air and pounce! I hope your find new meaning in weeding . . .
LOL!
The other day I had a fleeting thought of horror; what if a certain person finds out about Antarctica and the Antarctica Treaty and wants to withdraw from it because it’s unfair or because said person wants to buy Antarctica. Perish the thought! It’s a tough one to sublimate.
Hmmmm…. I think this might work with pruning too. Snip! Snap! Cut down to size! I don’t like the look of that limb – I mean branch – chop! Let’s take the top out of this! Crunch! Oh dear, that was altogether too much fun…
You’re really getting into the spirit of things, my friend! I love it!
This is too funny, and I’m glad I’m reading it early with my coffee which makes it better. We have had massive amounts of weeds, so I weed several days a week in the morning and must admit I haven’t given much thought to what I’m doing, but when I’m done I’m relaxed and ready for the the rest of the day. I can appreciate some of the folks I envision being on those balls, but it can also be closer to home. I told a friend a couple of things from a meeting I attended, and she turned around and repeated it right to the other folks. I can assure you, I needed to go immediately to the crabgrass after that. 🙂
Oh, yes–envisioning the ripping off of heads can have local benefits, too! Next time you pull a clump of weeds, that friend may feel a mysterious pain in her neck and back . . .
I love it! And the bit about the spineless people had me chuckling. They can still have their heads ripped off. I will look at weeding differently now!
Yes, even the spineless ones need to suffer . . . They have a lot to answer for!
They sure do! I hope we vote spineless sue out of office soon.
Agree 100%.
Good to know! Get out there and weed!
Brilliant! I know just how you feel. I feel completely worn down by all the, ahem, “things” that coming down from the top. And just when you think it can’t get any worse…time to go out and weed!
I have to admit, I’m not sure I’m going to cope after the first frost kills the weeds!
Yes, yes!
You do know crabgrass is an annual, and is perpetuated by self -seeding? Sometimes close mowing will do the trick for next year. And would that some public figures could be dealt with the same way.
I will pass this along to my husband, who does the mowing. I don’t worry about crabgrass in the lawn, although I should–because that’s how it gets into the gardens as well. I hope the 2020 election becomes a “close mowing” . . .
I’ll be putting this into practice ~ perfect posting for what’s going on’ ~ thumbs up!
I should stop paying attention to the news–it only freaks me out–but I can’t!
This is brilliant. I have a similar attitude to weeds, unlike my husband who finds the whole thing pointless because ‘they only grow again’. I have observed he has the same attitude towards dusting and hoovering. How convenient.
I don’t get nearly the same satisfaction from housework that I do weeding–I’m *sure* it’s the whole imagery of spines and heads that appeals to me! You have a few public figures who you could apply this weeding metaphor to, eh?
I have a few issues with crabgrass but in my garden I’ve got nut grass, not only do you have to get the spine but also the little nut like bulb at the very bottom of the root system, if you don’t get the bulbs it just multiplies into more shoots. So I am very happy when I have removed a nut….🤔😂.. like that word sublimate…
I don’t think we have nut grass here! It sounds sort of scary!
Love this, I’ve given up listening to the news, it’s just too depressing! I love the cartoon, I shall have to think of this when I’m weeding 🙂
Given the size of your gardens, I suspect you have lots of weeds, which means lots of chances for sublimation!
What I love most about the cartoon is the sweet little face of the ‘peanut’ smiling while it says ‘it’s like pulling someone’s head off with the spine intact’, so funny x
I know–it’s totally macabre and yet oddly enchanting!
That’s it….’macabre’ , a smiling assassin peanut!
I have a whole garden full of weeds to practise on, inspired by you and that macabre, quirky cartoon. I am turning many of my weeds into mulch, so there’s another positive reason to get out and do it.
Macabre is the perfect word for the cartoon–and, yet, it’s so easy to relate to. Maybe that says something about the dark side of our minds . . .
Great advice! I am sure your beautifully clean house is a reminder of how things all work out and life is good:)❤️❤️
My house has never, not for one day, been beautifully clean! I am much better about gardening than cleaning!
I had a very good season of dandelion root snapping a couple of years ago…very therapeutic. Weeding is a great way to calm oneself!
It is! And it works for all kinds of stress, not just political news that’s unsettling!
You cracked me up here. I’ll laugh all night. I LOVE weeding for just that reason. When I was married to my last husband, he asked if I had a vendetta against weeds. I told him no, I was just saving his life. He left me alone to pull heads and spines. I love the cat toy too.
That’s a hoot, about saving your ex-husband’s life! I wonder if his neck hurt when you pulled weeds?
He was clueless. I took him to couples therapy and the therapist said he was the carrier and total unaffected by his words and actions. Gods honest truth. He didn’t tell me to leave but clearly hinted at it and the husband didn’t get that clue either. 🙂
Hee hee 🤣 That weed even has the perfect little ‘hairstyle’.
I thought the exact same thing! HA! It could be said of that guy in England, too . . .
I’m glad I read your whole post as I connected the WEED to something quite different!
Loved everyone’s comments…
And I’m such an innocent, that other meaning of weed never occurred to me! I always think the comments I get are more fun than my posts!
Great advice, Kerry! The cartoon made me laugh, but I totally get your sentiment – I’m like you in that respect, I have negative thoughts about the very same things/people, even though I’m on the other side of the pond. Guess I should learn to sublimate, too.
We could deal with it by ignoring the news but that seems irresponsible–we need to pay attention and stay engaged. So, sublimation is the answer!
Hilarious! And more useful than sticking pins into something 😂
Exactly! I can completely understand how voodoo dolls have their place but I love seeing the weeds (heads/spines) pile up!
J & D > Us too!!! (Very very similar causes!) Never has the walled garden had so much weeding effort. (Which is fortunate, because never have weeds been so favoured by warmth and rain!)
I think the whole world feels on edge right now–so maybe all of our gardens are more thoroughly weeded than ever before!
love this, it gives purpose and fun to a necessary task and definitely does sublimate. My all time favorite is pruning – off with their heads, snip, snip!!
That’s what Kate said, too! You’re twins of different mothers! If I used my pruning shears to deal with my frustrations, I wouldn’t have a tree or shrub left!
Excellent advice, Kerry! I have used weeding as a way of calming myself for many years now and cannot think of anything that works as well, except maybe bed-making/tidying when I use a pillow as a punch-bag.
Where would we be without those pillows to punch and weeds to pull?! Probably in prison for assault . . .
Haha! Yes!
Not at all you find weeding a calming exercise. There’s something routine, purposeful and rewarding in the task. Sublimate is great advice!
I like that it’s physical, too–I seem to need a body-wide outlet for my frustrations.
Yes!
You know me, I had to give it a go at trying to find the originating cartoonist and I couldn’t. I’d love to see more of her/his work
Yes, I’ve been experiencing generalized anxiety disorder for a while now. Seriously. When I saw my doctor a couple of weeks ago she suggested a low level drug. I did the research on that and it scared me to death. Forget about that. So now I’m meditating, deep breathing and reading self help books. And now I’m adding weeding to that list! Thanks, Kerry.
Well, if you couldn’t find the source then it’s not findable! I feel better about using it without attribution now.
I do think meditation and stress-reduction has to be preferable to meds. And maybe hacking away at your invasive bittersweet? And imagining hacking away at people who are the sources of your anxiety? 😉
Good idea! My supply of invasive bittersweet is never ending.
Once the weeds are killed by frost, you can sublimate by weaving bands. With every thwack of the band knife you can say “off with their heads.”
I love it! That big knife does deliver a good thwack!
This is the best thing I’ve read today. And honestly I’m not surprised you’ve moved into weeding. It really isn’t very different from ironing. 🙂
Ironing is soothing, creating order from disorder, and I certainly need that. Weeding has a more visceral appeal . . . 😀
I think I’ll adopt that theory as we move into spring & weed season! thank you
I think you’ll find it *very* satisfying! And your garden will look great!
Well that’s one good way to motivate yourself to get the weeding done 🙂
Whatever works, right?!
I began to like weeding better when I stopped identifying with the weed. I guess I wondered if the plant had a right to live and do its thing. When I was able to answer, Nope, I began enjoying the release of various hostile feelings that weeding provides.
Isn’t it funny how we project feelings on to weeds and flowers (and pets and most everything else)?
I just don’t watch cable news. I am always busy so I don’t think about all the negative stuff. Right now I have Christmas music on because it makes me feel good. Having this blog keeps me sane.
I like your approach–do what makes you feel good and skip the rest!
It is good to turn a problem into a plus. I weed slowly too. Mum’s garden has long grass that creeps under her fence from next door’s garden. I am waging a very long, slow war against it. I pay too much attention to the news too. It has a horribly addictive character.
I think all weeding ends up being a long, slow war–we might win the battles of any given day, but the weeds seem to win the war. Still it gives us a means to sublimate the anxieties that come of following the news!
Lots of weeding to be done here, too. 🙂
I’m almost looking forward to a good frost!
The struggles of order and chaos. If someday the weeding gets beyond me, I shall remove the fence and let the deer and groundhogs take over. Meanwhile, voting is one way of weeding our politicians out of office. I hope to have some better seeds to plant in the future. With all the manure being spread about you would think that the garden of public affairs would be growing robustly. Enough on that metaphor. -Oscar
I hope to vote early and often! Although, with all the talk about election fraud, I probably shouldn’t even joke.
We open our polling station… As to fraud, other than Republican gerimanderred districts and filling in absentee ballots for folks… I do not believe much actual fraudulent voting goes on. I think the mob mentality and gullibility of the voters is more the issues. That is the weed-field ripe for the Internet/Social Media.
Bwahahahaha! I enjoyed other’s responses almost as much as this post. 😀 Weeding in such a way sounds very cathartic.
I know! I often think the quality of the comments I get far exceed the post! I took some of their advice re: pruning and have found that to be cathartic, too!
An excellent theory – I find watering the plants quite cathartic but not weeding as yet. Still “sublimation” is much needed. I watch the news in German or read their online newspapers it gives me good language practice and another perspective from some of the tirades being published in other countries at present!
I’m a professional gardener, so I get the pleasure of sublimating every day. Don’t have any guilt; getting a weed to the roots still gives me a frisson of pleasure.